It's Time to Begin (Isn't It?)

And now you're singing Imagine Dragons. You're welcome!

Seriously though, I want to start a blog to document my weight loss journey. And this is it.

Hi, I'm Rachel. I'm 31 years old, 5 foot 6 inches, a mother to 4 beautiful children, wife to the most fantastic man on the planet, and I'm obese. Ouch, that hurt to write. But it's true. My BMI plants me firmly in the obese category. And 3 weeks ago, I was solidly in the "Severely Obese" (Obese Class II) category with a BMI of over 35! Gross, right?! I know. There's lots of me to go around. And around and around and around. And I'm tired of that. I'm tired of not liking who I see in the mirror anymore. I'm tired of not fitting into clothing right. And my wake-up call came a month ago when the size 16 pants I was wearing were getting too tight to button. I was NOT going to move up a size! It was time to stop making excuses and start losing the extra pounds I've been packing around for years.

My goal is not to get "skinny." Let me be clear about that. I've never been skinny in my life. I don't even know if I would look good if I were skinny. But even back when I was in my early twenties and had a healthy BMI, I still wasn't skinny. I've always had a big bust and a "not-washboard" stomach. I wore a size 10. Not exactly model material. But I was healthy and fit. And for the most part, I was happy with myself and my body. My goal through this weight loss journey is to get back to healthy again. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed because "Whoa Mommy! You're fat!" Yes, they have said that on more than one occasion. I want my children to have me as a good example of eating well, exercising and taking care of our bodies. I believe that the Lord gave us our bodies and that makes our bodies temples. It's time for me to start treating my body like the temple that it is.

So Rach, you used to be fit and 145 lbs. What happened? Well, life and laziness happened. After I got out of college I took a desk job working 40+ hours a week. I went from walking all over the campus of BYU, hiking "the hill" multiple times a day, to sitting on my rear most of the time. Then I go pregnant with my first child and although I gained only 30 lbs, I didn't lose it all after she was born. I lost some of it, but as I dealt with the sleep deprivation that comes with a colicky baby and waking up at 4 am to get into work an 8 hour shift before my husband went off to school, I turned to carbs and sugar to keep me awake. I used food (and not healthy food) to fuel me with the energy I lacked from getting little sleep. With each pregnancy, the cycle has repeated and I've gained more and more and more weight. But sleep deprivation wasn't my only problem.

When my oldest was 4 I quit my job to stay at home with the kids. It was the right decision for our family, but it led to a couple years of underemployment for my husband, and our finances have been tight. Turns out I am an emotional eater too. When I don't have control over the trials around me, I turn to food to fill a need. Totally unhealthy, right? But lots of people try to eat away their stress. Eating releases hormones that help us feel happy, even when our bodies are getting more and more unhealthy.

Then, I just resigned to it. I had 2 surprise pregnancies in a row, and between being pregnant and breastfeeding, it was difficult for me to lose weight. During the first few months of my babies' lives I feel RAVENOUS. Breastfeeding literally drains me. And none of my babies have been good sleepers, so the the sleep deprivation I mentioned earlier has only gotten more pronounced and chronic. But in early April when I stepped on the scale and it showed that I weighed 225 lbs (gross!) I decided it was time. No more excuses. Get moving, eat less, and lose some weight woman! Now, my youngest is 9 months old, my milk supply is firmly established for breastfeeding, and the little guy is eating solids now too. I can't use my baby as an excuse. The weather is warming up and my friend gave me a double stroller for free. I can't use cold weather or too many kids as an excuse. It's time to make changes.

Three weeks ago I started using myfitnesspal.com to count calories. I have a goal to lose 1.5 lbs each week. I'm also trying to walk as often as possible: to drop my kids off at school, go to the park or the corner grocery store or just to take a walk around the neighborhood. I'm trying to eat "cleaner" but I'm not giving up any foods. Let's be honest, life would suck without chocolate. I believe "all things in moderation" is the way to lose weight, and keep it off. I'm not interested in diet pills or supplements or weight loss products I have to special order. I have a lot of friends and neighbors doing the "Take Shape for Life" program (Medifast). I'm glad it works so well for them, and don't think it's a bad program, but I'm not interested. I don't have the money, and don't think that eating 1000 calories/day or less or pre-packaged foods is the right answer for me. I still need to be able to enjoy my food or I won't be able to stick with it. My current goals are to eat 1640 calories or less per day, exercise at least 4 times per week for 30 minutes each, and drink more water. I'm still breastfeeding too, which burns some calories as well.

Here are some stats:

Starting Weight (Heaviest Weight): April 16th 2014:   225 lbs
Current Weight: May 9th:   210.3 lbs

Me at my heaviest:

 Ugh! I hate photographs and always hide behind the camera because I don't like how I look.

If you've made it this far, THANK YOU! I could use some friends as motivation. I need some people to be accountable to. Please follow my blog. Comment! I love comments. I need comments. Share tips and tricks with me. Share your favorite healthy recipes. Share your favorite toning exercises. Share your own struggles or triumphs. Or you could even berate me and call me a fatty and shame me. That works too. If you are on myfitnesspal.com, add me as a friend. My user name is Sunshine7684. Stick around and encourage me as I get back to fit.